Amir said...

I want everyone to know that I am here, I am available, I am with you.
Everyday is a rebirth. On this day, my 33year b-day of my Amir , I also celebrate every birth & rebirth. How many times are we surely born!
We exit from the ALL & go back to the ALL & we are reborn everyday.

Make your lives a blessing as I bless all of you.
I thank you, I love you for sharing in my journey and sharing it still.
With every kiss, with every smile, with every tears of compassion you are reborn.
Let us all rejoice together and HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

AF

HELLOOOO

Amir's mom saying hello to Amir's group.
75 days ago Amir moved on/up, still I and his sister Talla can't get it. We have asked ourselves and each others so many times that, what had happened! How did it happen! Why did it happen?!? Who knows...
I am getting stories, messages and news that how much his friends and his group are missing him daily. If you miss him this much, I can't find any words to describe myself.

It was overwhelming for us the extent of support, attention, presence and love at his gatherings and after, which is still going on. These gatherings usually are sad events that not so many people like to attend but he had over 300 guests at his green parties.
Of course, his gatherings were so sad but at the same time so beautiful and warm, full of love , light and positive energy because of his happy, warm and loving BEING. He was with us and he didn't let us to break down. We cried and smiled together for AMIR FARIVAR, the smiling guy...

Amir's b-day is coming up. November 16th.is his 33rd birthday. Finally, I am able to find my way to log into his blog;-) and use his iPad as I promised him to continue his legacy and keep in touch with you as Amir's group. His birthday was a new beginning in my life 33yr ago and gave me the bravery to turn into a mother as the most difficult task in this world. Now, because of him I feel brave enough to continue his message of love. Just to start from where we dropped please go back and read his last posting named:life is a bitch but love that bitch...

Talk to you soon and love you all
Amir's mom, Afsaneh

Amir Farivar’s New Life Celebration (Sunday 8/7: 4-8 pm)

Sunday August 7, 2011
Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines: Fairway Pavilion
10950 North Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, CA 92037
858-558-1500
4 pm – 8 pm


(Cash Bar; Valet and Self Parking available for a fee)

In lieu of flowers I would like to ask you to make a donation. Your donation will go to a worthy cause related to cancer awareness for young adults.


Online donations, use HealingPAQ, a non-profit organization. www.healingpaq.org/monetary.html
Or mail a check to Healing Paq at 12088 Caminito Campana, San Diego, CA 92128


We are looking forward to seeing you there and watching a beautiful sunset in memory of Amir Farivar


Also, please do not wear black. Amir's request was that we all wear green.

Amir Farivar, with the help of Bob Marley, requests your presence at the celebration of Amir's life...

Rise up this morning,
Smiled with the rising sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Saying, this is my message to you…

Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing, is gonna be all right."
Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing, is gonna be all right!"

Amir requested that no one wear black.  He requested that your attire be green.  Green was Amir’s color of healing.  He wore a green bracelet around his right wrist for the entire 15 months he spent healing his body of cancer. 

Date: Friday, August 5, 2011 

Time: Burial service starts at 12 pm - 2:30 pm.

Location: Dearborn Memorial Park

14361 Tierra Bonita Road

Poway, California 92064
(858) 748-5760

www.dearborncemetery.net

Memorial Services will be on Sunday  August 7, 2011.  Information TBD. 

There's no place like home...there's no place like home

I sit here in my brother’s room sharing one of the most profound life experiences with him.  After almost 15 months of a fierce battle with cancer, we have come to the end.  The end that my brother spent months fearing at first, then accepting, preparing for by “packing his backpack” and now welcoming with open arms. 

Dr. G, the family’s therapist/good friend gave us a book last week about the experiences that people go through during the end of life process.  We have been reading this book all week.  Amir especially enjoys it when I read it to him in an animated voice.  This may seem a bit odd to you (Amir’s blog follower) but the book has brought us all so much comfort and peace.  It has taken a lot of the uncertainty out of the equation of dying.  All of the stories are about how peaceful and calming the end of a life can be.  Most of the stories talk about visions that people have when they approach the point when it’s time to leave their current body and float to heaven.  Visions of deceased loved ones coming to them to guide them to heaven.  Well I have been listening to Amir’s comments during his transitioning process very closely and I can tell you this much…

I was hoping that Amir would have the same wonderful visions as the people in the book we read.  I wished and prayed to God that he would share in this experience because when I read him the stories, I could tell that he was intrigued by this phenomenon.  Well, he IS having the experience!

I believe that he sees an angel standing in the doorway to his room.  For the past couple of days he kept asking us “what’s her first name?”  We foolishly thought he was asking what his nurse’s first name was and as much as we said “it’s Nurse T.  Her first name is Nurse T.,” he just wasn’t satisfied.  He wants to know the angel’s first name.  I wish I knew it so I could tell him. 

A bit later he exclaimed that he sees Wolfie.  Wolfie was our dog we had when we were teens.  Amir loved this dog more than anything…probably even more than me!  We unfortunately had to give him away when we downsized to an apartment a few years after adopting Wolfie.   Amir was so broken up over it.  Even a decade after the fact he would still cry when I brought up Wolfie.  Well, Wolfie came to Amir in one of his visions and played with him.  It was really cute to see Amir exclaim “Doggie!  Doggie!”  I love seeing the surprise and joy in his face. 

The last and most profound vision he had today wasn’t a specific person or an object but a message that he wanted to communicate to my mother and me.  He kept repeating, “I have to go home.  I have to go home now.  I have to go home.”  He is telling us that God is calling him to come home.  I kept trying to reassure him that he is home and in his room.  Everything the book told me not to do.  Thankfully my mom was around and told him that she understands he has to go home and we are ok with him leaving us to go home.  It was a powerful moment.  I don’t have the words to explain it properly.  I don’t feel like I’m doing it any justice, but the best way to explain it is relief.  Relief that Amir is not scared or confused one bit.  He knows it’s time to go home and he is letting my mom and me know that he will be departing soon.  

Here are the facts people.  Amir has an amazingly happy life.  From the day he was born until the day he leaves, he will have a smile on his face.  When he was a baby, people used to say that his eyes smiled along with his lips.  I was the cranky kid who never smiled and he was my happy-go-lucky big bro.  Even now that he is really tired, and super low on energy, he manages to paste a beautiful little smile on his gorgeous face.  Once in a while, he will even sneak a kiss onto my cheek.   

He had 32 years of practice to be positive, optimistic, kind, courageous, driven, charismatic and an absolute fighter.  All the traits that carried him through his battle.  He has always been surrounded by people who absolutely love and adore him.  I have been doing his PR lately; returning texts and emails from his friends and family, and I can tell you, the kid has a huge fan base!

To my big brother…it’s been a beautiful life minus a handful of very difficult moments for you this past 15 months.  You are the best brother a girl could ever ask for.  Dad taught you from an early age that I was your "namoos" (sorry no English translation) and you protected me my entire life.  I owe you so much and am grateful for all the lessons you have taught me.  I'm lucky to have had you as my big brother for 30 years.  I love you more than words can describe and the thought of not having you physically in my life is so painful that I can hardly bare it but Boopie  It’s time to go home Brody (yet another nickname).  Catch you on the flip side.

Followers of Amir’s blog, please help us by praying that Amir easily navigates his way home.  

Life's a Bitch

Some say coming to this world is like a big SMACK on your BUTT, followed by a lot of small smacks to teach you life lessons.  The problem is the more you learn, the more you have to learn here and there…it never stops! And the beauty of it is, we have the opportunity to learn together as a GROUP.  We have the ability either to learn with ease now or with difficulty later. Let me tell you back in high school cliff notes were my best friends (a short cut to read those fat books) but I couldn’t find any short cuts for learning the lessons in the book of life yet, did you?!?

Through time and experience, I learned either we have to read it and learn it patiently within the group or getting another smack in the butt.

Now let me tell you about the group. I think that we move in/out like a group of pack animals. We’re coming and living in this world together, helping each other in getting smacked less.

YOU ARE MY GROUP, with each of you I learned something and in return I taught you something…I hope you remember ;-)

A short list of what I’ve learned:

1-     Be content

2-     Just BE

3-     No one has answers to everything and not everything has an answer

4-     Keep up your smile and help others to smile

5-     If somebody prevents you from learning, just run-away. Some people can keep you stuck and waste your time

6-     If it’s not making you happy or content, don’t do it

7-     Life is a bitch, but looovvve that bitch

Let’s keep this list going, love you all.

A/J

 

First Step To The Next Level

So today is such a special day. Not only have we started a new month, one of many I wasn't supposed to see...but also today is the day I'll take my tubes out, so that some Quality of Life (QoL) regained!!!

Today at UCSD I've got my mom with me, as always, and DEamen should join us soon as well.

Yes my pops is in the States, but he can't Handel surgeries and pain inflicted on me...his defense mech makes him internalize it to be his problem, and that's an even bigger problem :-)

So for now he's staying with my lil sis in LA, who's anxiously counting the secs to come and chill with me !!!

if all goes well both tubes and my Chesticle will come out in the next few hours.

The doctor seems nice n on the same wavelength as I so that's a good sign.

Now my loved ones, this s truly a time to celebrate, NOT because the Western world has deemed me as C-free, (actually just the opposite. They gave up on me...)

Yes, this is a time to celebrate because now I can clearly see a much better QoL in front of me.

As a 30...ish athlete I've been paralyzed from waist up and neck down for more than 350 days...but who's really counting :)

Now I will be able to twist n turn again...

WATCHOUT swimmers, surfers H2O players, yogis and footballers...and ladies!

I am here, and here to stay and play life with my own rules.

Pics to follow shortly.

LOVE

Party News And Some More Good Stuff

Hello - helloooo !!!

This past week has been such a fantastic whirl-wind of news and some good celebration...my mom turned 50...isss again and her aged wisdom prompted the LA family to come down and party harty! It was awesome seeing them, especially my not-so-little cousin Neama...

Then, later in the week, my little second-sis (Halleh Jaan) came over to see me and join us for a first hand lesson at a doctors office...Halleh is somewhat of  genius in her own right and now that she finally has become a doctor - I can tell that with what she's learned/read, then experienced through loved ones and their health will allow her some mighty compassion and great bedside manners...and a new iPhone!!!

Wait the celebration continues...last night Farshid came for a visit and, as always, had a huge smile on his face and some entertaining stories & analogies...PJ, Mamman, and dE sure do deserve some new stories, good times :-)

Sooooo, I'm doing fine and have had buckets full of new doctor experiences and from it I've set a tentative date to have my tubes internalized for May 23d...I spoke with docB today and although he bid me caution, he does agree that my quality of life will turn for the better...and... If the tubes need to be put back in after a few month, then so be-it...Just BE :-)

And to my delight and surprise my doc stopped happy hours...indefinitely, for now.  I don't have a clear path for medicine, but this does lend me some good time for physical recovery and concentrating as I always have on the well-being of my quality of life.

Well that' it...oh and if you're thinking about getting an iPad...DO IT!!!
LOVE
AMIR (AJ)


Sent from my iPad

Cancer Is My Art

Sticks and stones may break my bones -

And words can be like inspiration straight to my soul...

I am Amir's dream state

I am Amir's escape when he meditates, naps, and sleeps. 

With me he is happy and healthy.  In me he's with his family and friends, all in great mood and all happy and healthy. 

Sometimes I help him see through the clouds and see divinity. 

Sometimes god helps Amir in his dreams, when he's with me.

I am Amir's dream state, where he can escape to feel no pain...