It's me again because Amir is cranky tonight again!!!!?
He has right to be cranky because he had another tune-up surgery on his pipes today. Those pipes which suppose to kick the Bili out of his liver! It was the 3rd surgery since mid June. He definitely has right to be tired and a little cranky after 12 hours fasting and going through another surgery................
The surgery went well, he was in the recovery room and around 7pm nurse decided to send him home. She came to his bed with a wheelchair and told him that he can go home. Amir looked at the wheelchair and so innocently said that he doesn't like to leave the hospital on a wheelchair. The nurse replied this is the hospital rule and you can't leave without the wheelchair. Amir answered, this is my rule for myself too. Then showed his feet to her and said, I can walk on my feet. Nurse looked at him and said I'm not going to lose my license for you and left. He fell asleep right away for 10-15 minutes till the nurse came back. Amir told her, let's make a deal. It has to be me, you and the wheel chair to leave the hospital. Why don't you sit on it and let me push you out (by the way, the nurse was older than me!).
Long story short, if he was 7th floor penthouse with caring nurses, he would decide to stay but not at the 1st floor recovery room. Perhaps it was because of my delicious spaghetti at home too! ( some credit to my cooking).
Now, he is resting again and looking forward to have better days. By the way, Bili got out of hand again and jumped over 4 range! Please, send all your love, good vibes and energy to bring the junior back down to 1..............
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Well, it's me again and you all know, it means............. by Maman Afsaneh
he is OK. He had some tough time during past 2 weeks since his last chemo! It's better to say that he had some tough time during past 6 weeks and tougher for past 2 weeks. The day before chemo was challenging, the chemo day was challenging which he talked to you, and today is the day after. Wasn't a movie with the name "The Day After"?! who played it!? ;-)
He is doing fine, only very tired and prefer to sleep a lot. He asked each of us to write something for his blog and Rebeca was the first one with such a great column. It was lovely Rebeca as yourself.........Tonight is my turn, are you ready! Are you sure that you are up for it??? Let's go........
The story started on November 16, 1978 at 9:20 in the morning, when Afsaneh turned into Amir's Mom and asked God to help her to be a good mother. Then again 31 years later, on May 15, 2010 Amir's Mom asked god to give her strength and help her to be a good mother. Amir is going through the biggest challenge of his life and needs my help, your help and our help in order "to roll with the punches". He is already rolling with punches with bravery and your help is unbelievable. He is so LUCKY to have YOU in his life as friends, 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins, families and followers of his blog.
He was 16 yr old and just started to drive. He loved surfing and one day told me that he is going for night surfing. Let me tell you that I'm afraid of the ocean at night. (I am confessing! ). He was late to come home. I had nightmare of sharks attacking him while surfing. When he came back the worried mom with some tough love talked to him and told him about her dream!! He answered ; Mom if it's in my destiny to be eaten by sharks, you can not do anything about it. I got more mad and told him, no way, I am going to change this destiny for you and not letting you to go surfing any more. Of course, it didn't happen. He continued to surf and I continued to ask god for his safety. I think that night had an impact on him as he decided not to eat big fish anymore and signed an agreement with the ocean life. I don't eat you and you don't eat me, please.( he is going to kill me after he gets better for this one)
I wanted to change his destiny!!! How immature I was?! He is the only one to make his destiny, as he likes. I am sure he has an agreement with life too and life is going to take care of him as the ocean did.(no shark ate him so far, thank god).
Amir, you always make the best of your life events, even the "C" one and how beautifully you are talking and writing about it. As your Maman, it was my job to teach you how to live as a good person. Now you are teaching me how to deal with difficulties in such a bravery and strength. I asked god but my son is teaching me how to be strong and roll with the punches..........Thank you and I love you my son.
By the way, you don't need to thank me every day of taking care of you. WE ARE IN IT TOGETHER TO WIN IT...............no matter how tough it is.
He is doing fine, only very tired and prefer to sleep a lot. He asked each of us to write something for his blog and Rebeca was the first one with such a great column. It was lovely Rebeca as yourself.........Tonight is my turn, are you ready! Are you sure that you are up for it??? Let's go........
The story started on November 16, 1978 at 9:20 in the morning, when Afsaneh turned into Amir's Mom and asked God to help her to be a good mother. Then again 31 years later, on May 15, 2010 Amir's Mom asked god to give her strength and help her to be a good mother. Amir is going through the biggest challenge of his life and needs my help, your help and our help in order "to roll with the punches". He is already rolling with punches with bravery and your help is unbelievable. He is so LUCKY to have YOU in his life as friends, 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins, families and followers of his blog.
He was 16 yr old and just started to drive. He loved surfing and one day told me that he is going for night surfing. Let me tell you that I'm afraid of the ocean at night. (I am confessing! ). He was late to come home. I had nightmare of sharks attacking him while surfing. When he came back the worried mom with some tough love talked to him and told him about her dream!! He answered ; Mom if it's in my destiny to be eaten by sharks, you can not do anything about it. I got more mad and told him, no way, I am going to change this destiny for you and not letting you to go surfing any more. Of course, it didn't happen. He continued to surf and I continued to ask god for his safety. I think that night had an impact on him as he decided not to eat big fish anymore and signed an agreement with the ocean life. I don't eat you and you don't eat me, please.( he is going to kill me after he gets better for this one)
I wanted to change his destiny!!! How immature I was?! He is the only one to make his destiny, as he likes. I am sure he has an agreement with life too and life is going to take care of him as the ocean did.(no shark ate him so far, thank god).
Amir, you always make the best of your life events, even the "C" one and how beautifully you are talking and writing about it. As your Maman, it was my job to teach you how to live as a good person. Now you are teaching me how to deal with difficulties in such a bravery and strength. I asked god but my son is teaching me how to be strong and roll with the punches..........Thank you and I love you my son.
By the way, you don't need to thank me every day of taking care of you. WE ARE IN IT TOGETHER TO WIN IT...............no matter how tough it is.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Ali Baba Said I Love You!!!
Throughout our lives we go through experiences and it's no secret that many are challenges...some experiences are physical and others are more energetic - as in relationships or feelings, and as humans we have the ability to self heal any challenge that may arise.
A beautiful thing that happens when healing one challenge is that sometimes, just like the domino effect, it allows you to heal other challenges too.
Here's a very cool example that I've experienced in the past few weeks and want to share with you, as many of you are aware of my family relationship - you already know that my parents divorced many years ago and because of this, my dad left the country so face to face communication went away quickly.
Also, my relationship with him was strained even more because he never shared loving and caring feelings with me as I wished he would...maybe this is because he had grown up in a country and culture that is all about male figures being tough / masculine and not showing emotions such as love...but damn it! sometimes it just feels good to have your dad say to you "Son I love you" or "Son I'm proud of you"...
Well here's miracle number n-1 in my healing process, my dad said he loves me...not only that, but now he says he loves me every time we speak...OK maybe he needed a little push to accept that no matter what - saying I love you brings a higher quality to the feeling than comes with the emotion of love and just knowing that he loves me...no matter, this is SO important to me and already I feel that our relationship has started healing and our emotional connection has evolved from where it was just a few weeks ago.
We are surrounded with challenges and healing opportunities every day and with each act we have the ability to show love, joy, peace, and compassion and sometime just the act of saying a word our loud to show a feeling can be healing for us and to those closest to us...please listen up, especially you fathers out there...sometimes we should give a hug instead of just a smile...sometimes we should give a kiss instead of just a hug...and more than often we should say I love you instead of just giving a kiss...So with that, I love you baba and I love all of you who have inspired me to stay strong and share my experience with you in a time of unknown self realization and healing.
LOVE
A beautiful thing that happens when healing one challenge is that sometimes, just like the domino effect, it allows you to heal other challenges too.
Here's a very cool example that I've experienced in the past few weeks and want to share with you, as many of you are aware of my family relationship - you already know that my parents divorced many years ago and because of this, my dad left the country so face to face communication went away quickly.
Also, my relationship with him was strained even more because he never shared loving and caring feelings with me as I wished he would...maybe this is because he had grown up in a country and culture that is all about male figures being tough / masculine and not showing emotions such as love...but damn it! sometimes it just feels good to have your dad say to you "Son I love you" or "Son I'm proud of you"...
Well here's miracle number n-1 in my healing process, my dad said he loves me...not only that, but now he says he loves me every time we speak...OK maybe he needed a little push to accept that no matter what - saying I love you brings a higher quality to the feeling than comes with the emotion of love and just knowing that he loves me...no matter, this is SO important to me and already I feel that our relationship has started healing and our emotional connection has evolved from where it was just a few weeks ago.
We are surrounded with challenges and healing opportunities every day and with each act we have the ability to show love, joy, peace, and compassion and sometime just the act of saying a word our loud to show a feeling can be healing for us and to those closest to us...please listen up, especially you fathers out there...sometimes we should give a hug instead of just a smile...sometimes we should give a kiss instead of just a hug...and more than often we should say I love you instead of just giving a kiss...So with that, I love you baba and I love all of you who have inspired me to stay strong and share my experience with you in a time of unknown self realization and healing.
LOVE
The Day After...Man What A Day!
Man what a day!!!!
So you've probably wondered where I've been for the past few days...well...the moms' did a really good job explaining what happened until late last night...surgery...chills...infection...chills...fever...blah, blah, blah...this cancer doesn't know who it's messing with :-) cause there's no way any of its kung-fu kicks are gonna' bring me down...my kung-fu's way too strong.
Well, today I paid another visit to IR before coming to Dr. B's office for Chemo # 4...I'm on a every 2 week regime which is very aggressive & tough but with my physical, mental, & workout regime throughout the past 10 years it's almost like I had been in spring training so that I can be ready when the C comes around and heal myself asap...from what I gather each Chemo takes 3 weeks to take toll completely, so the 3ed Chemo should show its effect by about now...the best news is that last week I had an MRI of my liver and the masses had shrunk ~12% already...and the docs say the shrinkage is throughout so that's F-ing' FANTASTIC!!!
Most of you probably have never been in a Chem ward before, and I pray you will not have to experience it...ever...but since I have to be here and have about 4.5 hours left, why not explain to you what it looks like, right - well the room is rectangular shaped with lots of bright light and windows...I'm very luck to have my hospital in La Jolla, one of my favorite and cleanest surf cities in SD and although we can't see the ocean - there's a calming feeling that her silky waves are just beyond the windows and across the street.
As for the room, I can tell the doctors tried to make it as comfortable as possible, there are lazy-boys scattered all around lining up against the walls and there's 'easy listening' Kenny G style music playing in the background...the only thing it's missing is a TV which sucks especially when I know I'm missing a great WC match...
Now for my peeps - I can honestly say that I'm the youngest of the bunch...considering most of my comrads can probably use their AARP cards for discounts at the local movies. So there are two types of people in here, the treating and the supporting group. Today Talla's with me and we always have a good time together...no matter what...It's really unfortunate though that most of the people here are the treating kind - time and time again I've come in to get treatment and have seen such sad eyes sitting by themselves waiting for it to be over and unfortunately waiting without a support group around...I can tell you first hand that having a support group really helps...and I wish I could be support for each and every one of them here but it's too soon for that...but soon enough.
LOVE
ps - my mouth tastes like Turmeric, um thx mom ...blah!!!
So you've probably wondered where I've been for the past few days...well...the moms' did a really good job explaining what happened until late last night...surgery...chills...infection...chills...fever...blah, blah, blah...this cancer doesn't know who it's messing with :-) cause there's no way any of its kung-fu kicks are gonna' bring me down...my kung-fu's way too strong.
Well, today I paid another visit to IR before coming to Dr. B's office for Chemo # 4...I'm on a every 2 week regime which is very aggressive & tough but with my physical, mental, & workout regime throughout the past 10 years it's almost like I had been in spring training so that I can be ready when the C comes around and heal myself asap...from what I gather each Chemo takes 3 weeks to take toll completely, so the 3ed Chemo should show its effect by about now...the best news is that last week I had an MRI of my liver and the masses had shrunk ~12% already...and the docs say the shrinkage is throughout so that's F-ing' FANTASTIC!!!
Most of you probably have never been in a Chem ward before, and I pray you will not have to experience it...ever...but since I have to be here and have about 4.5 hours left, why not explain to you what it looks like, right - well the room is rectangular shaped with lots of bright light and windows...I'm very luck to have my hospital in La Jolla, one of my favorite and cleanest surf cities in SD and although we can't see the ocean - there's a calming feeling that her silky waves are just beyond the windows and across the street.
As for the room, I can tell the doctors tried to make it as comfortable as possible, there are lazy-boys scattered all around lining up against the walls and there's 'easy listening' Kenny G style music playing in the background...the only thing it's missing is a TV which sucks especially when I know I'm missing a great WC match...
Now for my peeps - I can honestly say that I'm the youngest of the bunch...considering most of my comrads can probably use their AARP cards for discounts at the local movies. So there are two types of people in here, the treating and the supporting group. Today Talla's with me and we always have a good time together...no matter what...It's really unfortunate though that most of the people here are the treating kind - time and time again I've come in to get treatment and have seen such sad eyes sitting by themselves waiting for it to be over and unfortunately waiting without a support group around...I can tell you first hand that having a support group really helps...and I wish I could be support for each and every one of them here but it's too soon for that...but soon enough.
LOVE
ps - my mouth tastes like Turmeric, um thx mom ...blah!!!
Maman says: Who wants to bet on Bili again!?
with the same prize.........
Story of today actually started on Tuesday. One of the pipes stopped draining during Daee Eamen's B-day dinner! and took away all the attention from the birthday boy (sorry Eamen, Amir gets all the attention these days).
Amir called the hospital and they told him to come today at 6am!!!(I don't like to wake up early morning at all). Mom is sacrificing one more time, waking up at 5am and we go to the hospital. At 9, they took him into the surgery room to check his plumbing. Couldn't they give us later appointment or just they wanted to torture me!
Ok, one of the pipes needed readjustment and it was done by 10am. Amir woke up happy again but immediately started to have all types of reactions as shivering, high blood pressure, hot and cold feeling and finally high fever up to 102+.........
Now, the good news is: he is sleeping in his bed, fever came down as well as Bilirubin. He is ready to get his 4th chemo tomorrow and hopefully not feeling so bad over the weekend.
Besides of all challenges during last week, his strong, young and tough body is fighting back seriously and blood test result showed great improvement today, especially with Bili junior. It's time to guess where Bili is standing from 4.4 on Mon. Lets go and guess just for the sake of Hawaii trip........
Love you all
Story of today actually started on Tuesday. One of the pipes stopped draining during Daee Eamen's B-day dinner! and took away all the attention from the birthday boy (sorry Eamen, Amir gets all the attention these days).
Amir called the hospital and they told him to come today at 6am!!!(I don't like to wake up early morning at all). Mom is sacrificing one more time, waking up at 5am and we go to the hospital. At 9, they took him into the surgery room to check his plumbing. Couldn't they give us later appointment or just they wanted to torture me!
Ok, one of the pipes needed readjustment and it was done by 10am. Amir woke up happy again but immediately started to have all types of reactions as shivering, high blood pressure, hot and cold feeling and finally high fever up to 102+.........
Now, the good news is: he is sleeping in his bed, fever came down as well as Bilirubin. He is ready to get his 4th chemo tomorrow and hopefully not feeling so bad over the weekend.
Besides of all challenges during last week, his strong, young and tough body is fighting back seriously and blood test result showed great improvement today, especially with Bili junior. It's time to guess where Bili is standing from 4.4 on Mon. Lets go and guess just for the sake of Hawaii trip........
Love you all
Monday, June 21, 2010
Kill Bili Interactive
Aloha everyone, some great news...chances are really good that I'll be going home today from Scripps and with that said I have one more blood test to do.
With all the industry talk around Health IT, I would like to take this blood test up a notch and to become the first Web 3.0 interactive blood test ever performed...for this I need you to help participate in a fun little game called "Kill Bili"...what do you think my Bilirubin count will be at today? :-)
Ever since I installed the manual oil change sacks, my Bilirubin count has been steadily decreasing...on Sunday June 13th the count was at 8.4 , on Thursday, June 17th the count went down a lot we clocked it at a 5.6 ...and finally yesterday - June 20th my count was at a cool 4.4...
So here's where we stand with our predictions:
Amir - 3.3 (keepin' faith alive) !!!
Maman Afsaneh - 3.4
Lil Sis - 3.8
Eamen - 3.7
RN - 3.6
What do you think my Bilirubin count will be today?
Submit your votes as a comment here and the winner will win the chance to go to Hawaii with me and be first to read my book before I submit it to the Opera book club, hahaha...
LOVE & Aloha
With all the industry talk around Health IT, I would like to take this blood test up a notch and to become the first Web 3.0 interactive blood test ever performed...for this I need you to help participate in a fun little game called "Kill Bili"...what do you think my Bilirubin count will be at today? :-)
Ever since I installed the manual oil change sacks, my Bilirubin count has been steadily decreasing...on Sunday June 13th the count was at 8.4 , on Thursday, June 17th the count went down a lot we clocked it at a 5.6 ...and finally yesterday - June 20th my count was at a cool 4.4...
So here's where we stand with our predictions:
Amir - 3.3 (keepin' faith alive) !!!
Maman Afsaneh - 3.4
Lil Sis - 3.8
Eamen - 3.7
RN - 3.6
What do you think my Bilirubin count will be today?
Submit your votes as a comment here and the winner will win the chance to go to Hawaii with me and be first to read my book before I submit it to the Opera book club, hahaha...
LOVE & Aloha
Sunday, June 20, 2010
RN: My first post as AIC (Angel in Charge)
When you begin to a new relationship, you always want to put your best face forward…..at least until the other person likes you enough to be introduced to the more human, slightly less perfect version of you. We spend time picking out our most flattering outfits, make sure we are showered, primped and picture perfect. It’s why we don’t order salads on a first date….in fear that later you may have an unidentifiable green mess stuck between your canines.
And we also would like to have the other person believe that we’re a bit like Barbie and Ken…..and that we don’t ever have bodily functions. It’s why you avoid the spicy beans in fear of uncontrolled flatulence. Or the first time you use the bathroom at your potential boyfriend or girlfriend’s house…..you wish the walls had interior insulation. At the very least, you run the water when you…..as Amir would say….”drop off the kids”. Or hopefully, you can hold it until you leave the date and are in the privacy of your own home. Or even a nearby McDonalds would be preferable to having the other person hear you.
Cancer changes all of that.
Afsaneh remarked that this is like a flashback to 30 years ago. As a new mother to baby Amir, she spent the first year of his life very interested in the frequency, consistency and color of his baby poop. And now, that interest has been renewed.
I on the other hand, was never interested in the bladder or bowel movements of my two younger brothers…..past being really irritated when one of them peed in my face while I was changing his diapers…..or being grossed out when they didn’t flush in our shared bathroom….or tattling to my mom when they didn’t wash their hands afterwards.
Now, embarrassment about bodily functions is my last thought. When Amir burps, my first question is whether it’s a good burp (releasing pressure) or a bad burp (painful, acidy). When he has flatulence (yes, the need to fart), it’s something to celebrate because it releases painful pressure. Not to mention, we can’t help laughing after a fart in the middle of our hospital suite tai chi session…..and really, laughter is the best medicine.
I don’t have to worry about him having peed on the seat when I use his in-suite bathroom as he’s peeing into a “duck”…..a duck shaped urinal jug that gets hung on the back of the toilet so he can save his urine for the nurses to see. And record (everything gets recorded….down to how much he eats and drinks). So it’s become ritual that whenever I use the bathroom, I check, and of course comment on, the color and amount of liquid in the duck.
Urine….the most basic of bodily functions. No pee equals dehydration. This past week, after chemotherapy, Amir was dehydrated and his sister Talla brought him to the ER so he could be hooked up intravenously to receive liquids (saline). Depending on how well the liver is doing, or how well Bili the bad Kid is behaving results in very different shades of urine (none of which colors you’d want to paint your living room walls in). The nurses are able to translate these hues and consistencies and we’re asking lots of questions. Pretty soon, Amir will have a certificate in Urine Analysis.
A side note and slight disclaimer about myself…..if you couldn’t tell from reading so far….I’m probably not the girliest of girls when it comes to delicate matters like bodily functions …... I grew up quite a tomboy, lived on a farm and the breeding and slaughter found in nature (and man’s interaction with it) was part of life on the farm. My father is a fisherman and they often spend several days on the boat in open sea during a black cod or salmon trip. On these trips, their toilet was a bucket which you perched precariously over amidst the rocking motion of the waves.
I mucked the barn out (shoveling cow poop)……though definitely less then my brothers. We used to play in the fields and occasionally threw dried cow pies at each other. When I was a teenager and my baby brother was a toddler and I was helping my mom with potty training, the book “Everybody Poops” was a favorite. So rather than having an aversion to discussing the intimacy of our bodies waste removal process, I probably have a healthier than normal interest. Especially when learning to translate them gives me an insight to the health and physical wellbeing of someone I love.
Anyone who has spent any length of time on pain meds knows that they are a recipe for constipation. And when your body is already dealing with other issues and your focus is healing, the last thing you want to worry about is feeling uncomfortable because you can’t have a bowel movement. Two weeks ago, there was one of these situations. And Amir, never wanting to inconvenience anyone, finally relented to let me make a CVS run at 11:30 p.m.
You can reference his post “Who wants pizza, please hold the enema”……and I won’t embarrass Amir more then I already have. Let’s just say RN doesn’t stand for Registered Nurse in this instance. The enema process was a first for both of us……and it’s something we’ll probably continue to look back and laugh about just as much as we laughed about it that evening. After that, I’ll never be bothered if he forgets to flush!
Amir was a bit self-conscious initially of the drainage bags in his new hole-y appearance. But when it was my turn to be AIC (Angel in Charge) of him for the weekend, I was pretty fascinated and couldn’t help giving him a mini-history lesson in how leaching was used to balance the internal elements of blood and bile during medieval times. Or continually compare the color of bile secretions collecting in the bag to whatever food or drink they reminded me of…..pea soup, wheatgrass, honey mustard sauce. Obviously, it takes a lot to make me lose my appetite.
And now, on to another to another part of the body……grooming. It’s time for our third round of head shaving. We’re reshaping the Mohawk. And nothing says trust like allowing another person around your head, ears and neck with a razor.
And we also would like to have the other person believe that we’re a bit like Barbie and Ken…..and that we don’t ever have bodily functions. It’s why you avoid the spicy beans in fear of uncontrolled flatulence. Or the first time you use the bathroom at your potential boyfriend or girlfriend’s house…..you wish the walls had interior insulation. At the very least, you run the water when you…..as Amir would say….”drop off the kids”. Or hopefully, you can hold it until you leave the date and are in the privacy of your own home. Or even a nearby McDonalds would be preferable to having the other person hear you.
Cancer changes all of that.
Afsaneh remarked that this is like a flashback to 30 years ago. As a new mother to baby Amir, she spent the first year of his life very interested in the frequency, consistency and color of his baby poop. And now, that interest has been renewed.
I on the other hand, was never interested in the bladder or bowel movements of my two younger brothers…..past being really irritated when one of them peed in my face while I was changing his diapers…..or being grossed out when they didn’t flush in our shared bathroom….or tattling to my mom when they didn’t wash their hands afterwards.
Now, embarrassment about bodily functions is my last thought. When Amir burps, my first question is whether it’s a good burp (releasing pressure) or a bad burp (painful, acidy). When he has flatulence (yes, the need to fart), it’s something to celebrate because it releases painful pressure. Not to mention, we can’t help laughing after a fart in the middle of our hospital suite tai chi session…..and really, laughter is the best medicine.
I don’t have to worry about him having peed on the seat when I use his in-suite bathroom as he’s peeing into a “duck”…..a duck shaped urinal jug that gets hung on the back of the toilet so he can save his urine for the nurses to see. And record (everything gets recorded….down to how much he eats and drinks). So it’s become ritual that whenever I use the bathroom, I check, and of course comment on, the color and amount of liquid in the duck.
Urine….the most basic of bodily functions. No pee equals dehydration. This past week, after chemotherapy, Amir was dehydrated and his sister Talla brought him to the ER so he could be hooked up intravenously to receive liquids (saline). Depending on how well the liver is doing, or how well Bili the bad Kid is behaving results in very different shades of urine (none of which colors you’d want to paint your living room walls in). The nurses are able to translate these hues and consistencies and we’re asking lots of questions. Pretty soon, Amir will have a certificate in Urine Analysis.
A side note and slight disclaimer about myself…..if you couldn’t tell from reading so far….I’m probably not the girliest of girls when it comes to delicate matters like bodily functions …... I grew up quite a tomboy, lived on a farm and the breeding and slaughter found in nature (and man’s interaction with it) was part of life on the farm. My father is a fisherman and they often spend several days on the boat in open sea during a black cod or salmon trip. On these trips, their toilet was a bucket which you perched precariously over amidst the rocking motion of the waves.
I mucked the barn out (shoveling cow poop)……though definitely less then my brothers. We used to play in the fields and occasionally threw dried cow pies at each other. When I was a teenager and my baby brother was a toddler and I was helping my mom with potty training, the book “Everybody Poops” was a favorite. So rather than having an aversion to discussing the intimacy of our bodies waste removal process, I probably have a healthier than normal interest. Especially when learning to translate them gives me an insight to the health and physical wellbeing of someone I love.
Anyone who has spent any length of time on pain meds knows that they are a recipe for constipation. And when your body is already dealing with other issues and your focus is healing, the last thing you want to worry about is feeling uncomfortable because you can’t have a bowel movement. Two weeks ago, there was one of these situations. And Amir, never wanting to inconvenience anyone, finally relented to let me make a CVS run at 11:30 p.m.
You can reference his post “Who wants pizza, please hold the enema”……and I won’t embarrass Amir more then I already have. Let’s just say RN doesn’t stand for Registered Nurse in this instance. The enema process was a first for both of us……and it’s something we’ll probably continue to look back and laugh about just as much as we laughed about it that evening. After that, I’ll never be bothered if he forgets to flush!
Amir was a bit self-conscious initially of the drainage bags in his new hole-y appearance. But when it was my turn to be AIC (Angel in Charge) of him for the weekend, I was pretty fascinated and couldn’t help giving him a mini-history lesson in how leaching was used to balance the internal elements of blood and bile during medieval times. Or continually compare the color of bile secretions collecting in the bag to whatever food or drink they reminded me of…..pea soup, wheatgrass, honey mustard sauce. Obviously, it takes a lot to make me lose my appetite.
And now, on to another to another part of the body……grooming. It’s time for our third round of head shaving. We’re reshaping the Mohawk. And nothing says trust like allowing another person around your head, ears and neck with a razor.
Flow Like A Butterfly - Sting Like A Bee
Goooood morning, and welcome to another edition of I Love You Bilirubin...coming to you exclusively from the 7W penthouse suite at Scripps Hospital, La Jolla.
It's day 7 since I checked into the hospital/resort and the natives seem to have taken a liking to me, even changed my room from a simple peasant's living quarters to the presidential suite...this place is actually bigger than my first studio apartment and has a great view of La Jolla - not a bad life, eh... :-)
So I'm sitting here quietly this morning watching the ITA vs NZL World Cup match while the sun is starting to kiss the horizon outside and RN is fast asleep on the couch (probably dreaming of writing her To Do List for today, haha)...and I'm feeling inspired to write about a divine lesson I've come to learn throughout the years and now experience more than ever through my past few weeks of healing - the lesson of rolling with the punches...
Muhammad Ali once said "flow like a butterfly - sting like a bee"...and the more I think about this statement, the more it makes sense to me...you have to live your life in constant flexibility - and at times do nothing and leave nothing undone!
Although many of us have the illusion of control in life, chances are we're just seeing things through our cloak of invincibility and somewhat blinded by the fact that we only have control over what we ourselves do at 'this' very moment...This is where the philosophy of rolling with the punches comes in and is more important to me, than ever!
In moments of flux the most important thing for me is to remember 2 things
1) Keep rolling with the punches
2) Don't forget to breathe
And of course never forget that god's in charge - so just relax and enjoy yourself, life's too fun and important and we should enjoy every moment of it - so enjoy...and of course I love you Bilirubin!
ps - Bilirubin count is at 4.4 today!!!
It's day 7 since I checked into the hospital/resort and the natives seem to have taken a liking to me, even changed my room from a simple peasant's living quarters to the presidential suite...this place is actually bigger than my first studio apartment and has a great view of La Jolla - not a bad life, eh... :-)
So I'm sitting here quietly this morning watching the ITA vs NZL World Cup match while the sun is starting to kiss the horizon outside and RN is fast asleep on the couch (probably dreaming of writing her To Do List for today, haha)...and I'm feeling inspired to write about a divine lesson I've come to learn throughout the years and now experience more than ever through my past few weeks of healing - the lesson of rolling with the punches...
Muhammad Ali once said "flow like a butterfly - sting like a bee"...and the more I think about this statement, the more it makes sense to me...you have to live your life in constant flexibility - and at times do nothing and leave nothing undone!
Although many of us have the illusion of control in life, chances are we're just seeing things through our cloak of invincibility and somewhat blinded by the fact that we only have control over what we ourselves do at 'this' very moment...This is where the philosophy of rolling with the punches comes in and is more important to me, than ever!
In moments of flux the most important thing for me is to remember 2 things
1) Keep rolling with the punches
2) Don't forget to breathe
And of course never forget that god's in charge - so just relax and enjoy yourself, life's too fun and important and we should enjoy every moment of it - so enjoy...and of course I love you Bilirubin!
ps - Bilirubin count is at 4.4 today!!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wearing my bile on my sleeve
For those that do not know what the level of a Bilirubin child on good behavior is 0.1-1.2. Mine, was at 8.4 on Sunday evening when Talla and I went to the ER. Bili definitely deserved a good spanking (As my mom would say, some tough love) and the doctor gave it to him real good! 8.4 was the highest that Bili had been so far. The GREAT news is that the Bilirubin taps are working like a charm, and the level has come down to a mere 5.6!!! Woo hoo. I'm aiming in the 3 range for tomorrow. It's amazing. Even a couple of hours after surgery I actually felt normal. First time in 6 weeks that I felt that way.
So it is a bit odd having drains and bags hanging off of me and to be completely honest I have been a little self conscious about it all...but I feel that the best way to get over it is to post some pictures for you guys. Please don't hate me because I am beautiful!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Out of Surgery
It took him 2/5 Hours(right on time). He is in good spirit, eating and resting.
Thank you all for your prayers,
Love you too
Thank you all for your prayers,
Love you too
Spending couple of nights in the Hospital with nice view of San Diego, by Maman Afsaneh
Well, It's my turn again or no you are stuck with me again! Friday's Cocktails went well, he was getting rid of HANGOVER pretty well(of course my good care at home was useful too). It came Sunday afternoon. He woke up from his afternoon nap. Talla arrived around 5pm. I was getting ready to go out with my friend for a ..........(not telling you what). He came to me and said: I need to go to Emergency Room to get some IV, I feel so weak! There, you go, It's all Talla's fault because as soon as she arrived!!!!
Talla took him to ER to get some fluids, I went out to get some Cocktails, I just wanted to play cool mommy like: I don't care guys, you are on your own..........After couple of hours, Talla called and calmly said, they are going to hospitalize him.
Now, it's Tuesday noon. He is napping, didn't eat since midnight because he needs a small surgery. Bilirubin was going up and up and upper(not a good news). BR is acting like a spoiled child, the more Amir gives it love and attention, it acts wilder. I remember when I was disciplining Amir and Talla, and of course they didn't like it, I would say it's TOUGH LOVE. I love you but you have to behave according to my rules. Now, Docs are doing the same to spoiled Bili. He loves you but you are hurting him and we need to take you out of his body forcefully.........this is the story of now.
He is weak/strong and ready for the procedure. I ask all of you from all over the world, imagine him in his best shape, good looking and handsome, buff and active, with his very loud, hearty laugh that always scared his sister a bit due to the volume!! Amir is not a spoiled or selfish, needy or codependent guy, he is so strong, brave, inspired, courageous and helpful friend to all of us. He needs you as his friends to pray together for him for fast recovery and taking care of spoiled "C" after getting rid of little Bili...........
Love you all and thank you.
He is going dawn to surgery room.........Pray, Pray, Pray
Talla took him to ER to get some fluids, I went out to get some Cocktails, I just wanted to play cool mommy like: I don't care guys, you are on your own..........After couple of hours, Talla called and calmly said, they are going to hospitalize him.
Now, it's Tuesday noon. He is napping, didn't eat since midnight because he needs a small surgery. Bilirubin was going up and up and upper(not a good news). BR is acting like a spoiled child, the more Amir gives it love and attention, it acts wilder. I remember when I was disciplining Amir and Talla, and of course they didn't like it, I would say it's TOUGH LOVE. I love you but you have to behave according to my rules. Now, Docs are doing the same to spoiled Bili. He loves you but you are hurting him and we need to take you out of his body forcefully.........this is the story of now.
He is weak/strong and ready for the procedure. I ask all of you from all over the world, imagine him in his best shape, good looking and handsome, buff and active, with his very loud, hearty laugh that always scared his sister a bit due to the volume!! Amir is not a spoiled or selfish, needy or codependent guy, he is so strong, brave, inspired, courageous and helpful friend to all of us. He needs you as his friends to pray together for him for fast recovery and taking care of spoiled "C" after getting rid of little Bili...........
Love you all and thank you.
He is going dawn to surgery room.........Pray, Pray, Pray
Friday, June 11, 2010
3rd Happy Hour, Cocktail written by Maman Afsaneh
Hello my dear followers of my Dear Son, AMIR
I know you all love him and waiting for his hilarious posting, so sorry, he doesn't feel good, I mean he is sleeping and you are stuck with me!!!!
I am going to tell you my version of this big event in our family which effected all of us, Talla and the rest of the family. For those who doesn't know Talla !! she is Amir's sister and Amir loves her a lot. This is Friday night and Amir came back home at 4pm from his 3rd Happy Hr. cocktail party and having a BIG HANG OVER. Today at 10am he had to go to his oncologist office to........2 nurses from Hospital called me, that they are waiting for him and why is he late?! It looks the like hospital and doctor's office were competing with each other for giving him the Cocktails. He is so popular these days!!!
It's almost 11pm. I came home from work, took care of his dinner(if he calls it dinner). we went for a very short walk and now he is sleeping in the patio. A very soft music is mixing with the sound of the night is playing for him. He is very calm and a little weak. The candles are burning around him too.........I had my dinner in the balcony with a glass of wine, and............. I can't tell you the rest of it! I did a bad thing and now I'm so relax!(I had a bad day at work too). All at sudden, I decided to write for him. That's how you got stuck with me tonight.
What can I say, except I want to thank YOU ALL FOR LOVING HIM AND WISHING HIM THE BEST.
Maman Afsaneh(-:Mom:-)
I know you all love him and waiting for his hilarious posting, so sorry, he doesn't feel good, I mean he is sleeping and you are stuck with me!!!!
I am going to tell you my version of this big event in our family which effected all of us, Talla and the rest of the family. For those who doesn't know Talla !! she is Amir's sister and Amir loves her a lot. This is Friday night and Amir came back home at 4pm from his 3rd Happy Hr. cocktail party and having a BIG HANG OVER. Today at 10am he had to go to his oncologist office to........2 nurses from Hospital called me, that they are waiting for him and why is he late?! It looks the like hospital and doctor's office were competing with each other for giving him the Cocktails. He is so popular these days!!!
It's almost 11pm. I came home from work, took care of his dinner(if he calls it dinner). we went for a very short walk and now he is sleeping in the patio. A very soft music is mixing with the sound of the night is playing for him. He is very calm and a little weak. The candles are burning around him too.........I had my dinner in the balcony with a glass of wine, and............. I can't tell you the rest of it! I did a bad thing and now I'm so relax!(I had a bad day at work too). All at sudden, I decided to write for him. That's how you got stuck with me tonight.
What can I say, except I want to thank YOU ALL FOR LOVING HIM AND WISHING HIM THE BEST.
Maman Afsaneh(-:Mom:-)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I cried today
I cried today and I'm not exactly sure why.
It might have been because of the cleansing feeling I felt from going to yoga both last night and then again with my mom this morning at 7am...and it was probably infused with the song "baby next time I'll be bulletproof" by La Roux...or yet maybe it might have been because I'm so excited to see what happens today and tomorrow, but yet somewhat scared about it at the same time...All I know is that as soon as my mom went into her room after our morning coffee and the song came on Pandora, I covered my eyes with my palms and cried to myself for myself.
Crying is a very cleansing and personal thing and I've grown to stop being scared about tears and allow my emotions come to the surface because when I'm at my most vulnerable is when I come to my most profound realizations.
Why I cried today I just don't know...but what I do know is that my biggest fan just happened to come out of her room to tell me something unimportant when she saw me cradling my eyes...and as natural as the sun rising in the morning, her first instinct was to come give me a big hug and allow me to cry with her, together...in truth it felt really nice and right then and there I realized that she is all my hopes, happiness and protection...all my guardian angels put into one defined body of love and today she allowed us to cry together...Thank you mom for knowing when to smile at me and when to cry with me, I love you.
It might have been because of the cleansing feeling I felt from going to yoga both last night and then again with my mom this morning at 7am...and it was probably infused with the song "baby next time I'll be bulletproof" by La Roux...or yet maybe it might have been because I'm so excited to see what happens today and tomorrow, but yet somewhat scared about it at the same time...All I know is that as soon as my mom went into her room after our morning coffee and the song came on Pandora, I covered my eyes with my palms and cried to myself for myself.
Crying is a very cleansing and personal thing and I've grown to stop being scared about tears and allow my emotions come to the surface because when I'm at my most vulnerable is when I come to my most profound realizations.
Why I cried today I just don't know...but what I do know is that my biggest fan just happened to come out of her room to tell me something unimportant when she saw me cradling my eyes...and as natural as the sun rising in the morning, her first instinct was to come give me a big hug and allow me to cry with her, together...in truth it felt really nice and right then and there I realized that she is all my hopes, happiness and protection...all my guardian angels put into one defined body of love and today she allowed us to cry together...Thank you mom for knowing when to smile at me and when to cry with me, I love you.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Who wants pizza - please hold the enema!
Hello my beloved I hope you're flowing through the river of joy and compassion and helping heal those who you touch throughout your day.
So with my new lifestyle I'm practically re-meeting myself from every stage; self-realization, self-knowledge and healing, and environmental sight...on that note some interesting challenges - well situations have come up that I've had to work with and learn from.
One of such situations is the ability to eat...yup one of our most primal needs of eating and eating well. Many of you know me as the human trash compactor...put it in-front of me and chances are I'll dig into it and love every bite...I've even had 2 or 3 girlfriends breakup with me because they were athletes and couldn't hang with my eating style (and burn rate)...one girl even told me that she loves everything about me but she gained 7 pounds in a mere 3 months of dating me and that was effecting her horse riding skills :-) haha! she couldn't hang, but I still love her and her dedication to eat with me...
Well fast forward a few years and now at my whopping 150lbs weight with wet clothes (not by choice!) on I'm quickly crossing out every staple food I've come to enjoy one by one off the list...first came Persian food feasting - I love it but it's too damned heavy (sorry PJ)...then came In' N Out Burgers - sorry Germany family - and now pizza...oh sweet delicious pizza...she's been my lover and friend since I can remember, and my muse has always been Round Table Pizza.
A few nights ago I finally regained my appetite since Happy Hour II, (The Peukeal!) and decided to venture into cancer uncharted waters and order one (two) large pizzas for my loving family visiting me over the weekend.
Well all was good - the pizza came and I made sure to chew like a French man - about 1M times per bite...damn it tasted good, the crust was fantastic, the cheese was to die for, and the sauce was heavenly...that is until about 6 hours later when physics came into play....as in what goes in must come out.
The first part was tested without any glitch, but the second part - man the second round became an adventure all on its own...Until that night I never thought about the feeling a woman might have when giving birth - but now I was wondering if JR's coming out and resisting every moment of it...and if so why WTF is JR giving me such a hard time.
Now I've been around for some time so I know a few tricks of the trade...coffee is great for digesting, yoga works, a massage can always help, and walking is a good idea too...but no JR is a different monster all on its own.
I tried all the tricks of the trade and finally had to resort some drastic tactics...and again my RN to the rescue...yes boys and girls I had an enema...first thought...WTF is an enema...well now I can answer that question...an enema is your best friend when JR refuses to cooperate and you just need to kick him out like a late night party friend who just won't leave.
Now for the sake of the weak I'm gonna leave the "juicy" and "hard" to understand parts out of this post, but be assured it's not a pleasant situation and I'm happy to tell you more if you ask nicely :-)....but trust me that afterwards you're going to think YIKES WTF JH!!!
Good news/Bad news - The bad news is that this shit goes up your glory hole...which is OK if you live in Palm Springs, but not OK at mamma's house...but the good news is that you'll start dropping off the kids at the pool in less than the recommended 2-5 minutes...
Now that that's over, some other thoughts that come up...mainly what is happiness...at every level of your life happiness can mean something different. When my family was moving to the states happiness to me was to imagine going to Disneyland and owning a Luke Skywalker Light Saver...back in high school my happiness came from getting digits from a hot chick or riding that perfect wave that puts me on cloud nine. In College happiness was Ace'in a test and then celebrating with my mates by going for drinks or taking a trip out of town to a place with no name for a few days...and after work happiness was closing that deal where I helped the companies bottom line and my wallet...and of course love - love is the ultimate level of happiness.
Now with my new friend Mr. C - happiness is knowing that I can be in control of my own life by changing my lifestyle to amend myself to my new self...there's no need to become frustrated, upset, or stressed...this is a lesson we've learned in different forms at various stages of our life and I must love it and care for it...that means no pressure only compassion and smiling...and the highest form of happiness is knowing that this is a temporary situation and life, love, and more lessons are upon us my friends! Lets be ready :-)
There are a lot of changes happening to me and for now I sometimes feel like I'm back to my infant stage and yes eating baby food is now the only thing that I know will not hurt me through gravity.
But there are larger lessons to be learned here...as in what am I feeling and what am I practicing...it's funny to think that through an enema I've gained knowledge into a more transformation practice of love and compassion, rule number one being - if you think it's not a good idea, then listen to that voice inside of you and adhere to it instead of becoming stressed out. Now this is the lesson, a key point!
But you must also remember that this doesn't work through fear - as in don't be afraid to challenge yourself because you fear the outcome...go for it and live - then let the lessons show you the next step in your pat....lean and be learned.
LOVE
So with my new lifestyle I'm practically re-meeting myself from every stage; self-realization, self-knowledge and healing, and environmental sight...on that note some interesting challenges - well situations have come up that I've had to work with and learn from.
One of such situations is the ability to eat...yup one of our most primal needs of eating and eating well. Many of you know me as the human trash compactor...put it in-front of me and chances are I'll dig into it and love every bite...I've even had 2 or 3 girlfriends breakup with me because they were athletes and couldn't hang with my eating style (and burn rate)...one girl even told me that she loves everything about me but she gained 7 pounds in a mere 3 months of dating me and that was effecting her horse riding skills :-) haha! she couldn't hang, but I still love her and her dedication to eat with me...
Well fast forward a few years and now at my whopping 150lbs weight with wet clothes (not by choice!) on I'm quickly crossing out every staple food I've come to enjoy one by one off the list...first came Persian food feasting - I love it but it's too damned heavy (sorry PJ)...then came In' N Out Burgers - sorry Germany family - and now pizza...oh sweet delicious pizza...she's been my lover and friend since I can remember, and my muse has always been Round Table Pizza.
A few nights ago I finally regained my appetite since Happy Hour II, (The Peukeal!) and decided to venture into cancer uncharted waters and order one (two) large pizzas for my loving family visiting me over the weekend.
Well all was good - the pizza came and I made sure to chew like a French man - about 1M times per bite...damn it tasted good, the crust was fantastic, the cheese was to die for, and the sauce was heavenly...that is until about 6 hours later when physics came into play....as in what goes in must come out.
The first part was tested without any glitch, but the second part - man the second round became an adventure all on its own...Until that night I never thought about the feeling a woman might have when giving birth - but now I was wondering if JR's coming out and resisting every moment of it...and if so why WTF is JR giving me such a hard time.
Now I've been around for some time so I know a few tricks of the trade...coffee is great for digesting, yoga works, a massage can always help, and walking is a good idea too...but no JR is a different monster all on its own.
I tried all the tricks of the trade and finally had to resort some drastic tactics...and again my RN to the rescue...yes boys and girls I had an enema...first thought...WTF is an enema...well now I can answer that question...an enema is your best friend when JR refuses to cooperate and you just need to kick him out like a late night party friend who just won't leave.
Now for the sake of the weak I'm gonna leave the "juicy" and "hard" to understand parts out of this post, but be assured it's not a pleasant situation and I'm happy to tell you more if you ask nicely :-)....but trust me that afterwards you're going to think YIKES WTF JH!!!
Good news/Bad news - The bad news is that this shit goes up your glory hole...which is OK if you live in Palm Springs, but not OK at mamma's house...but the good news is that you'll start dropping off the kids at the pool in less than the recommended 2-5 minutes...
Now that that's over, some other thoughts that come up...mainly what is happiness...at every level of your life happiness can mean something different. When my family was moving to the states happiness to me was to imagine going to Disneyland and owning a Luke Skywalker Light Saver...back in high school my happiness came from getting digits from a hot chick or riding that perfect wave that puts me on cloud nine. In College happiness was Ace'in a test and then celebrating with my mates by going for drinks or taking a trip out of town to a place with no name for a few days...and after work happiness was closing that deal where I helped the companies bottom line and my wallet...and of course love - love is the ultimate level of happiness.
Now with my new friend Mr. C - happiness is knowing that I can be in control of my own life by changing my lifestyle to amend myself to my new self...there's no need to become frustrated, upset, or stressed...this is a lesson we've learned in different forms at various stages of our life and I must love it and care for it...that means no pressure only compassion and smiling...and the highest form of happiness is knowing that this is a temporary situation and life, love, and more lessons are upon us my friends! Lets be ready :-)
There are a lot of changes happening to me and for now I sometimes feel like I'm back to my infant stage and yes eating baby food is now the only thing that I know will not hurt me through gravity.
But there are larger lessons to be learned here...as in what am I feeling and what am I practicing...it's funny to think that through an enema I've gained knowledge into a more transformation practice of love and compassion, rule number one being - if you think it's not a good idea, then listen to that voice inside of you and adhere to it instead of becoming stressed out. Now this is the lesson, a key point!
But you must also remember that this doesn't work through fear - as in don't be afraid to challenge yourself because you fear the outcome...go for it and live - then let the lessons show you the next step in your pat....lean and be learned.
LOVE
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Art is my healing medicine
 |
| What's your inspiration? LOVE |
Friday, June 4, 2010
Who wants to see my chest-icle?
So amidst all the BS around my newly found friend MR. C I've also discovered that he's somewhat helpful too...C is for cancer and it just might give some super powers, especially if you're on Persian Standard Time (PST)...
A few nights ago I was waiting for a fax from DR B. and of course our home fax machine has no inc...so on day 3 - probably one of the worst hangover days after my last happy hour my mom and I decide to go to Staples around 8pm to buy a new inc cartridge.
Well true to our dedication to PST we left our place around 8:45 and of course got to Staples 10 minutes after they close...Luckily there were still workers inside to we tried our luck and as I was in no mood to speed walk to the door I took my time to get to the store from our car and while in my Chimo fog (not MM induced this time) came up to my mom trying to explain to some 17 yr old zit-faced kid that we needed to come in and buy something that would take only 5 minutes...this kid wasn't having it so what to do...what to do?!?!? Cancer to the rescue...
There was only one thing to do after I finally made the 20 yard walk from the car to the door at my old man pace (snails beware I'm going at your pace)...
I firmly placed myself in front of Staples boy and pulled down my shirt to show my newly inserted chest-icle (yup Lance lost one I gained one...on my CHEST!) and with my newly found super C powers simply murmured the words "Hi I have cancer - and we need to come in and buy some inc"...HAH! it worked the kid was so impressed by the size of my chest-icle that the even brought out the red carpet and helped us try to find the inc.
So this bring up some good questions, as in how often should I use my super C powers?...Can I skip the airport security line or get chest-icle discount at the movie theaters?...and most importantly can I stop bullets with my chest-icle?
For now I'm willing to try and answer all the above questions, minus the last one.
PS - Bilirubin's down to 3.8 today - still twice the limit but I love you Bilirubin...ciao!
A few nights ago I was waiting for a fax from DR B. and of course our home fax machine has no inc...so on day 3 - probably one of the worst hangover days after my last happy hour my mom and I decide to go to Staples around 8pm to buy a new inc cartridge.
Well true to our dedication to PST we left our place around 8:45 and of course got to Staples 10 minutes after they close...Luckily there were still workers inside to we tried our luck and as I was in no mood to speed walk to the door I took my time to get to the store from our car and while in my Chimo fog (not MM induced this time) came up to my mom trying to explain to some 17 yr old zit-faced kid that we needed to come in and buy something that would take only 5 minutes...this kid wasn't having it so what to do...what to do?!?!? Cancer to the rescue...
There was only one thing to do after I finally made the 20 yard walk from the car to the door at my old man pace (snails beware I'm going at your pace)...
I firmly placed myself in front of Staples boy and pulled down my shirt to show my newly inserted chest-icle (yup Lance lost one I gained one...on my CHEST!) and with my newly found super C powers simply murmured the words "Hi I have cancer - and we need to come in and buy some inc"...HAH! it worked the kid was so impressed by the size of my chest-icle that the even brought out the red carpet and helped us try to find the inc.
So this bring up some good questions, as in how often should I use my super C powers?...Can I skip the airport security line or get chest-icle discount at the movie theaters?...and most importantly can I stop bullets with my chest-icle?
For now I'm willing to try and answer all the above questions, minus the last one.
PS - Bilirubin's down to 3.8 today - still twice the limit but I love you Bilirubin...ciao!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Wanna hear some cancer sex talk :-)
So this is a video RN took while I was under some major meds in the hospital...yes I was loopy and yes I might have said some funny things...this is very interesting and can anyone else confirm that the nurse really says pulling out is a good form of 'safe sex' infront of my mom!!!!! WTF JH!!! and for your information my libito (aka sex drive) is just fine...thank you very much!
Wow what a hangover!
So I'm back after a few days of down time...man happy hour can take some energy out of you...So I know you're probably wondering (maybe not) what it feels like to go through chemotherapy, well...the closest I can relate it to is having a bad taquilla hangover for like 5 days...but now I'm back and badder than ever!
What's next...shit I don't know, but for now - today I'm planning on enjoying the little things in life...after a small breakdown this morning, I did some good painting (wonder if Picasso started out this way), meditated and took a nice nap (yup I'm a napper) and now time for some work and off to reflexology with RN tonight for some RnR :-)
I'm also planning on getting to all the awesome emails you've sent me...thank you all for taking the time to write and call me and be assured I'll get back to you soon.
Till then keep a smile on your face and I love you Bilirubin!
What's next...shit I don't know, but for now - today I'm planning on enjoying the little things in life...after a small breakdown this morning, I did some good painting (wonder if Picasso started out this way), meditated and took a nice nap (yup I'm a napper) and now time for some work and off to reflexology with RN tonight for some RnR :-)
I'm also planning on getting to all the awesome emails you've sent me...thank you all for taking the time to write and call me and be assured I'll get back to you soon.
Till then keep a smile on your face and I love you Bilirubin!
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